I’m not sure why I’m feeling down today. I think it might be my hormones. I keep getting a horrible low feeling that engulfs me and then the negative thoughts come. Then for a few moments I feel OK, then on and on it goes like rolling waves.
I have no real reason to feel down. Yes I’ve got the ongoing divorce stress but I feel like I’ve parked that for now.
The bank emailed me this afternoon to say that they have given me the money back that was fraudulently removed from my account. I don’t feel like celebrating – mainly because I don’t trust them not to take it back again.
I’m still seeing my new man and when I’m with him I feel great – I spent the last 4 days with him and now that he’s not here I feel overwhelmingly sad that he’s not with me . Is this why I feel low? Am I in withdrawal? Am I addicted to him? He’s still giving me mixed messages. He talks about things he’d like to do with me next year one minute, but then the next minute he makes me feel like our relationship is temporary. I’m so confused about him. Maybe I should have resisted his charm. Now I can’t imagine life without him.
I feel lost. I’m on my own in the house right now and everything is dark and quiet. I need to walk the dog but I can’t be bothered – I will force myself out for a walk with him though because I know it will make me feel better.
I just want to feel like myself again – confident, easy going, hopeful and happy. Where have I gone? I need to find myself again.