Loneliness

4 months ago today I walked out on my husband. I know it was the right thing to do, but it has not been easy.

Over the past few weeks I have been feeling increasingly lonely and I’m craving for an intimacy that I never even had.

I’m craving for someone to share my day with, someone to confide in. My husband never was that someone. It isn’t him that I miss, but the dream of what I wished he had been.

He never did listen to me. I remember once when we’d only been together for a short time he joked that I was just background noise; that should have been a warning.

Over the last few years of our pointless marriage he didn’t listen to me at all. Also there was no respect and there was no trust.

I’m writing this blog to remind me why I left. When you feel alone, and lonely, it is tempting to think that maybe you could go back. Maybe things would be better. Maybe it’s better the devil you know.

No way. No bastard way. I’ve already wasted almost half my life with the wrong man. He is one leopard that will never change his spots.

Maybe it’s time I started looking for other fish in the big wide sea.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s