I had a really good day yesterday. I met some of my new friends for tea last night. I slept well – the best sleep I’ve had for weeks, but have woken with a knot of anxiety in my stomach again. I need to go to work soon.
I think the reason for my anxiety is that I had a dream that my ex was in. I can’t recall the details but the dream was generally happy. So, I’ve woken feeling confused again.
I have to remember why I’m doing this. Why I’m where I am. I am re-building my life, on my own,
because my marriage was awful. I have to remember the bad times. Yes, there were some good times over the past 20 years. If there hadn’t been any good times I doubt I would have survived.
But a lot if it was bad, and as time went on most of it was bad.
Stop missing him. Stop the guilt. Move on.