Today I did something I feel proud of, something that was difficult.
I drove 100 miles, ran a tough 16 mile trail race and drove home again.
I’ve done that sort of thing plenty of times before, but the difference this time was that I did it completely on my own. I didn’t know anyone else who was running, I came home to an empty house.
I feel proud of myself.
If I can conquer mountains by myself I can do anything.
I’m sharing this post from thought catalog because it’s fabulous, and so I can re-read it whenever I start to doubt myself.
4 months ago today I walked out on my husband. I know it was the right thing to do, but it has not been easy.
Over the past few weeks I have been feeling increasingly lonely and I’m craving for an intimacy that I never even had.
I’m craving for someone to share my day with, someone to confide in. My husband never was that someone. It isn’t him that I miss, but the dream of what I wished he had been.
He never did listen to me. I remember once when we’d only been together for a short time he joked that I was just background noise; that should have been a warning.
Over the last few years of our pointless marriage he didn’t listen to me at all. Also there was no respect and there was no trust.
I’m writing this blog to remind me why I left. When you feel alone, and lonely, it is tempting to think that maybe you could go back. Maybe things would be better. Maybe it’s better the devil you know.
No way. No bastard way. I’ve already wasted almost half my life with the wrong man. He is one leopard that will never change his spots.
Maybe it’s time I started looking for other fish in the big wide sea.
I recently left a long abusive toxic relationship and I have started on the journey to rebuilding my life. Writing about it helps. My soon-to-be ex-husband has Othello Syndrome.
I now know that it’s time to move on and leave all that behind.
I hope in time that my husband will find peace and realise that he won’t die without me.
this is me again 