Today, at long last, I received my decree absolute, 2 years after I left my ex-husband.
I feel like celebrating one minute then I feel sad, I feel lost, then relieved, I feel scared, I feel free – I’m all over the place. I’ve spent 2 years waiting for this day and now that it’s here it feels like a huge anticlimax.
I have to remind myself that today is the last day of my marriage but the first day of my new life.
Sometimes it can feel like the whole world is against you. It certainly feels like it for me at the moment.
As well as all of the divorce stress, in the past few months I have been a victim of identity theft and have lost almost £2,700. I am stuck in a situation where HSBC and PayPal both say it’s the other one’s responsibility to pay me the money back. I am probably going to have to involve the Financial Ombudsman. I could really do with the money at the moment with the huge bills I have to pay every month to my solicitor.
Also I crashed my car into my gate 2 weeks ago and wrecked the rear wheel arch. It’s in the garage being repaired. It is the 5th time I have damaged my car in my drive over the past 2 years. I joked with the owner of the garage that they should give me a loyalty card. Again, I could really do with money to pay for the repair.
With all the crap going on in my life I must keep reminding myself of the good things.
So, here are some of the good things in no particular order: –
My children and grandchildren
My car (!)
A run with friends
A run on my own
Swimming at the local pool
My garden and the little birds who visit it
Walks with my dog, walking through fields and woodland