Just when I was feeling sorry for my ex and having pangs of regret he came up trumps with just what I needed to confirm what a low life he is.
My youngest came to my house tonight and was made to be the go-between to inform me that he is taking them all to Italy for 4 days in August.
I was very upset. It will be the first time they all go away without me. He’s deliberately done it without discussing it with me to upset me.
He is a complete shit.
I will rise above it.
Today’s therapy session was hard. I cried a lot. We covered a lot of ground.
I talked about when I was bullied at the age of 15 and I realised that I have never got over it. One of my best friends stopped talking to me for several weeks, and made everyone else stop talking to me too. For weeks no-one spoke to me at school. Then one day they all just started talking to me again and I never found out what it had all been about. To this day I have no idea.
I think that’s why I am so afraid of being alone and lonely and I’ve surrounded myself with people. I’ve realised I’m actually scared of myself. It’s time I showed compassion to my 15 year old self. It’s time to forgive myself.
To my 15 year old self: –
It was not your fault
You were bullied
You can never blame yourself for what happened
You are beautiful and strong